Caution: Extremely Fragile

I've got to keep myself organized or it's all going to come tumbling down around me. Work got me stressed? Bills? Home maintenance? No... none of the above. I must keep my men in order.

My number one priority is HCD. Yes, I heard from him last night and he is coming home from Vegas a day early - today instead of tomorrow.

"I think dinner and relaxing with you sounds good for tomorrow night," he told me after stating that he missed me. Wow. He's got me wrapped around his finger... but he must not know that. I will not put all my eggs in one basket. He's got issues, ex-girlfriend heartbreak, emotional problems. We could possibly work as a couple. And I really, really want that. But I will not tear down my brick wall yet. It's still shoulder high, quite an accomplishment.

Hence, me giving my phone number to a new guy last night when I was out having a drink with a friend. HCJ is tall, handsome, a chef, made me laugh considerably, and seemed like a perfectly good egg. He politely asked for my number, wished me a pleasant evening, and kissed me on the cheek. I did answer a call from HCD while we were chatting... a move to look slightly unavailable? Maybe. More to just have the opportunity to say hello to my #1.

Then there's HCC, who I fondly refer to as Flakey Flakerson. This guy is always unavailable, yet manages to call and text just often enough to keep him on the list. We were supposed to get a drink and play some pool Wednesday night but someone had work issues, or had to go to the gym, or had to make it an early night, or had a truck problem... I really don't remember, and really don't care. We have plans tentatively scheduled for next week... AKA never.

There there's my military HCC... who really isn't a Hopeful Candidate, but more like a Boyfriend that Could Never Be. I keep him in my life in hopes that maybe some day, far far away, when he is done serving his time, he will come back to me and sweep me off to our ranch in the country with the white picket fence, 3 kids, and horses galloping in the distance. He is coming to visit next weekend. Our last conversation still plays in the back of my mind... "I think of you all the time," he said, "and I can't wait to see you."

Sigh.. but then I met HCD. Here's where the earth and sky could crumble around me. If HCD wants us to be exclusive, I will. In a heartbeat. I will not see my military man. But I certainly cannot suggest this exclusivity. I also cannot mention the fact I will be seeing a man I have dated on and off for a significant portion of the past year. That's pressure, not to mention a little threatening. I also do not owe HCD anything... we are just dating. Free to see other people, right? But military man has been... shall we say, stranded in the desert for awhile?... looking for a little refreshment?

Ugh! I'm getting tired of juggling these glass eggs! I just want to put all of them in their satin-lined basket now. But I did that before with Plan B. and each beautiful, fragile egg exploded in my face. I told him about military man wanting to see me but me wanting to be exclusive with Plan B. I denied military man. And where did it leave me? Heartbroken because Plan B. eventually began a relationship with someone else (after claiming he didn't want to be in a relationship) and I lost precious time with my military man.

I guess I will just keep on a-jugglin' until someone offers a safe enough basket for my precious eggs.