Where do you fit in?

I got to the gym about 30 minutes early last night, and not wanting to look like the over-eager aerobics instructor who arrives too early for her class but preferring to look like the instructor who's just so busy being "fitness queen" that she always looks hurried, I jumped on the treadmill for a quick run.

I love the gym where I teach because the cardio equipment is on the top floor, which wraps around the inner perimeter of the building and looks over the rest of the facility, providing for an optimal people-watching opportunity. Being in the heart of Scottsdale, this gym is filled with ASU frat boys & sorority girls, twentysomething professionals, and a select group of individuals who consider themselves "elite" because they live in the best part of the East Valley. There were so many stereotypes met within these walls, I began labeling everyone into their appropriate "type" to entertain myself during my jogging.

I seem to do this frequently and it reminded me of when I worked at ASU's golf course as a beer cart girl. I began dividing golfers (basically men) into 4 categories - and might I be so bold as to say these categories could be used universally, not only for golfers, and all people could be labeled as one of these. Maybe a person fits into one category in a certain situation and another in a completely different situation. Or they may be a combination. Nevertheless, by the time I left the golf course, I was able to label what "type" of person a golfer was within seconds.

Type 1) The avoider. The avoider does exactly that - avoids eye contact, any and all communication, and makes a deliberate effort to dodge the refreshment car at all costs. Even if it means driving their golf cart across the green, nevermind the tire tracks they left around the pin for the group following them. Geez, it's not like I'm going to force feed you a Heineken and then scavenge your pockets for money.

Type 2) The socially healthy dude (and most women seem to fit in this category). This guy knows how to handle himself. "No thanks, don't need anything right now," said with a nice little wave as he carefully drives by my cart. Or "Sure, can I get a Snickers and a Diet Coke, please?" and offers me a five dollar bill and tells me to keep the change. Simple, easy, no big deal.

Type 3) The never-ever satisfied dude. I never have what this guys wants, and anything I can offer as a substitution just isn't gonna cut it.
Him: What kind of beer do you have?
Me: Bud, Bud Lite, Coors, Coors Lite, MGD, Miller Lite, Heineken, Amstel Lite, and Corona
Him: Do you have Sam Adams?
Me: No, I'm sorry, we don't.
Him: *huge sigh* Well, what kind of liquor do you have?
Me: I have vodka, Bailey's, dark and light rum, Jack Daniels, and gin.
Him: Do you have Crown Royal?
Me: No, I'm sorry.
Him: *even bigger sigh plus rolling of eyes* Well, I guess I'll just have a Jack & Coke. How
much is it?
Me: $5.50 please.
Him: WHAT??!! God, that better be a damn good Jack & Coke.
Imagine this conversation and substitute in anything that never-ever satisfied dude could possibly never-ever be satisfied with - sandwiches, candy bars, or chips - whatever.

Type 4) (and my personal favorite) The over-eager dude. This guy has definitely NOT been out of the house in awhile. Apparently, his wife let him off his leash this month and he is like a giant kid in a candy store. Golf AND beer?? Whoa. It's almost too much for him to handle. "Can I get 12 Bud Lites aaahh make it 18 and we're gonna need more ice in our coolers do you have shots of whiskey we'll take four of them I need a bag of pretzels I'm starving oh you have sandwiches! can I have a turkey sandwich awesome! here's my card just put it all on the card." And breathe, buddy. I like you, though, you've got gusto.... lust for life... or you're slightly insane, whatever.

It makes you second-guess your behavior at the golf course, doesn't it?