Past the Point of Awkwardness
How to "act natural" when a person you have really cared about and fucked sits 4 cubicles away but no longer wants a relationship with you:
1. Never, EVER make eye contact. If this should happen, avert gaze immediately and dive into the nearest cubicle.
2. If the offender's voice can be heard from your current position, turn volume of stereo to level just loud enough to drown out the annoying chatter. (song of choice - anything off My Chemical Romance CD)
3. Discuss current love interest in full detail with neighboring co-worker. Throw in lots of phrases such as "hot sex," "biggest I've ever had," and "I can't tell you that!"
4. When current love interest calls, speak up. Not having a current love interest is not a barrier, I'm sure a good friend can fill in and ask questions to elicit responses necessary in the "act natural" plan.
5. Act as though the offender doesn't even exist, and if presence must be acknowledged (which can only happen in a work-related scenario) pretend to be surprised at the person's existence, almost as if you forgot he was there, alive, and working in the same room.
Good luck and happy "acting natural" to you.
posted by Elisabeth @ 3:59 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks midwest. You just never know when you'll be in such a sticky situation... I hope everyone appreciates this advice from a veteran in awkwardness.
Send me your work number. I'll call it 5-6 times a day. You can greet me with a loud, "Hi there, sexy!" I'll hang up, but you can keep on talking so Cubicle Boy can hear. You give good blog.
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