The Rollercoaster... and swings and tilt-o-whirl and gravitron and...

It's amazing the range of emotions I can go through in about 10 minutes. I think I hit about 16 different feelings or attitudes in the shortest range of time ever today. I went to lunch with a "Plan" that I haven't ever mentioned before now. Actually, I have mentioned him - he is the co-worker that I have sent inappropriate text messages to but his phone number has been long dead and buried since that dreaded night. We will call this dead man "Plan M." He is tall, handsome, funny, flirty, fun to be around.... oh and he has a girlfriend. Plan M. is known for flirting with me uncontrollably - to the point where I wonder if he remembers his girlfriend's name or can even recollect her mere existence. He is leaving the department and today is his last day so we had a little goodbye lunch for him.

While at lunch, I indulged and drank two beers. Okay, so this isn't really indulgence - I always drink at lunch on Fridays. I can't help it! Look at what I have to deal with all week long! Sitting 4 cubicles away from Plan B. hearing him talking to his new girlfriend, sitting across the room from Plan J. who has a knack for stopping all communication with me from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., getting texts all day from Plan C. in the army, and receiving flirty emails from Plan M., all the while trying to get some work done and keep my composure. I'm no scientist or nutritionist but I'm sure the alcohol had a little to do with the rollercoaster ride my mind and emotions took this afternoon.

At lunch, I felt frustrated at Plan M.'s flirtatiousness while having such a strong attraction to him I thought I was going to burst. As we entered our place of employment, I laughed at some witty comment he made and actually felt joyful and carefree. After tossing my hair and smiling my brightest smile, my laughter, along with all the joy that came with it, were cut short.... Plan B. walked by on his way somewhere - probably off to increase his risk of lung cancer or maybe to admire his new P.O.S. car that replaced his old P.O.S. car that caught fire or maybe he had to call his new girlfriend who, I'm so glad to report, has the problem of talking in her sleep, which I gathered from the snippet of conversation I heard this morning coming from Plan B's cubicle. (my gag reflex is working overtime these days)

In the brief moment that lapsed between the hair toss and Plan B.'s oh-so-rude path crossing, I had to bite my tongue from hurling out the words "Watch it, asshole." I was so angry at his existence, I could feel my ears burning. I sat down at my desk and prayed he would walk by my cubicle so I could say something rude, anything rude, like "Looking balder than ever." I owe my boldness to liquid courage. A few minutes later, a co-worker made a snide comment very loudly for all to hear which was highly insulting to Plan B. and I giggled uncontrollably - enter feelings of delight and admiration for my co-worker.

So the range was quite diverse, and it happened rather quickly. I'm not sure if you would call this a rollercoaster or a train wreck.