Can't Get Situated

Last night, I tossed and turned in bed. No thanks to a midnight text from the HCD asking me to come over. How depressing. When I didn't respond, he felt the need to call. After a 30 second conversation, he was well aware of my intentions to stay cozy in my bed.

Then I couldn't fall back asleep.

To the displeasure of my cat, I tried every sleeping position known to man. On my left side facing the window, cat behind knees. Nope. On my back, one arm over head, staring at ceiling, cat between my knees. Uh-uh. Right side, legs split, cuddling pillow, cat nestled between stomach and pillow. Yikes. Stomach, one arm up, one arm down, cat on backs of legs. Not gonna work. Endlessly rotate these positions with slight variations and there, in a nutshell, you have my night. It didn't help that the thought running through my head was "Gotta get to sleep! Have to teach the 5:45 a.m. aerobics class."

I finally drifted into a restless sleep in the fetal position, cat MIA. She probably got so fed up with the hurricane of movement, she chose the floor over her usual spot of prominence in the comfy human bed.

What confuses me is that Tuesday had been a great day, so why the need for a restless night? My roommate made an excellent dinner so I had food in my stomach. My kickboxing class went well and I got a great workout, plus, and this is a HUGE plus, I found out that Plan B. is quitting and I never have to see his face again after January 15. What more could a girl ask for?

I guess it was a prelimary unsettling... I found out this morning that Plan B. is engaged to the girl who took my place. What a shock to the system, let me tell you. I am cold, unfeeling, unable to process this information. Does not compute. So he is out of my life for good, forever. And he's marrying a girl who follows the girl who got the line "I'm not ready for a relationship."

My restless night resembles my life - unable to find a comfortable position, tossing and turning, trying out the same positions and still not finding them comfortable. I had the marriage and the white picket fence dream. I traded it in for the life of a single girl. I lived the life of a party girl (okay, okay, I still kind of do). Now I am starting to feel uncomfortable in this position and looking for the fitting position of the relationship girl with a slight variation.

I am constantly swapping positions in life, looking for just the right fit, and it doesn't help that the thought running through my head is "Gotta find happiness. Have to know love."