On the Bright Side

Well, Brandon really got me thinking with his latest comment. I need to look on the brighter side of things, because in reality, I have so much to be happy about. Tomorrow, my military man arrives and I'll get to spend some time with him before he gets stationed in Korea for who knows how long. I have no guilt about seeing him because HCD (Hopeful Candidate D.) pulled the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line, which is truly a blessing. Now I owe him nothing and feel no obligation to him.

My group fitness classes are going well - participants are really enjoying themselves. I get positive feedback everyday. I have to remind myself that I'm lucky to have a job where I get paid to exercise and I am able to keep my clients satisfied. I'm also lucky in my other job - advising students on college course enrollment. People are so appreciative for what I do even though it's my job. Hey, people, I'm getting paid to be so helpful!

I just threw a really nice bridal shower for my best friend. I had mixed feelings about getting involved in her wedding because I am going through a divorce myself. I don't have the fondest view of marriage at the moment. But now we are at the point of showers and bachelorette parties and I can see her excitement. I know she is happy, and that makes me happy.

I will end on a not-so-bright note, to Brandon's dismay. But this is something that happened today and it really made me think. I passed by a gas station near Plan B.'s house that we used to frequent and it reminded me of one of the most intimate moments of my life. (Please refrain from laughing when I say one of the most intimate moments of my life happened in a gas station parking lot.)

I almost cried when the memory came rushing back to me. I had just shifted my car into park when Plan B. had reached over, put his palm to my cheek and said "You are amazing. I can't believe I'm with you." I smiled shyly. "You have no idea how big we're going to be. You don't even care that I'm in a band." He was right. "I just care that you have passion for something. I like you for you, band or no band," I confessed to him.

"That's why I like you so much," he said and kissed me.

Now, would I rather have the memory of that moment or no moment at all? Some days the pain seems worth it, on other days I wish I could erase him altogether.