Back in the Saddle

Lots of big updates. Grab a drink, sit back, relax, and enjoy the drama I like to call "My Life."

First thing's first.... Madonna is TOMORROW. I almost hyperventilate when I think about it. I like to get myself all in a tizzy and go to www.madonnalicious.com.

Second, I never really fully explained my issue with the Biker. I realized this after I told a friend briefly what happened and then referred her to my blog to get more updates. Afterwards, she encouraged me to be a more supportive and caring friend to the Biker and not worry about myself and our relationship so much. In a nutshell, quit being so selfish. I purposely left out some information on this blog because it's fairly embarrassing to me and, to be honest, quite a slap in the face. But now I'm going to tell all. I found out on the night of the Biker's brother's funeral that the Biker's ex-girlfriend was staying with the Biker. MY BOYFRIEND. In his apartment. In his bed. With him. So basically, I was cheated on. I told the Biker (and looking back now realize I SHOULDN'T have) that I understood he made a bad decision during this tramatic time and we could work things out. He has continued to shut me out of his life so I stopped trying. I have come to believe this: 1. he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend, and 2. he is a coward and every time he looks at me he'll think of what he did to me. So, as I stated in a previous email, I foolishly handed my heart to the wrong man. He didn't take care of it too well and I have shed too many tears for him so...

I have walked away.

And that's fine because did I have an outrageous time in Mexico! I don't even have any pictures as proof. That's how bad/good it was. What happens down in Mexico, stays in Mexico. Let's just say I drank a lot of beer... oh and in order to fit in with the crowd, we all pretended to be 24. Oh goodness... am at that time in my life already?

And this past weekend was one huge ego boost for me - phone numbers and glances exchanged, time out with the girls, and poolside fun in the Arizona sun.

After a month of heartbreak, I'd have to say I am mending just fine. I am keeping my head up, my eyes tearless, and my heart open to new and better things. I still miss my Biker occasionally, only to remind myself how much he hurt me, and then the "missing" is gone.

On the rollercoaster of life, I'm just past the low dip down and am on the rise again.