Tragedy Strikes

The events in the past week have been life altering. I can't even begin to describe how I am feeling right now. Leave it to a tragic accident to cause you to re-evaluate life and relationships and truly test you and the people around you.

My biker boyfriend and his brother are crotchrocket die hards - my boyfriend is responsible for all the repairs and upgrades to his brother's newly purchased dream bike. My boyfriend taught his younger brother to ride and his brother was following in the biker's footsteps by becoming a motorcycle mechanic. They were going to open a shop together - D-Bros Motorcycle Maintenance.

His brother was killed in a motorcycle accident Saturday night.

My biker watched the whole thing unfold, as he was in a car following his brother, on their way home from watching a basketball game. He was there for his brother's last breaths, for the doctor's devasting news that he could not be saved, and for the last kiss to his cold forehead before they wheeled him away.

Luckily, I was there to meet him at the hospital, stay with him through the night and the next day as the news was dispersed to friends and family, and into the next night when things really began to settle in. Now people have flown in from all over, including my biker's ex-girlfriend, who has taken precidence over my position as "crutch." Our relationship has taken a back seat to the unfortunate circumstances. I have to push aside any feelings of jealousy or neediness... and just be his rock when he turns to me for help. What tears me up inside, is that he doesn't seem to need or want my support. At least he knows it's here when he finally does come looking for it.

I mourn for the loss of a friend, for the loss of my boyfriend's brother, for the loss of my boyfriend's need for me at the moment, and cannot overcome this overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Please pray for us.

Rest In Peace
Dustin Michael Dennis
January 29, 1983 - May 6, 2006