Bitter, Party of One

Okay, I'm really not that bitter. Lucky for the world, I'm pretty damn happy. Unfortunately, there have been quite a few things really bustin' my chops lately.

Number one, I really thought I would be moving on and up in the world by getting a new job, but all the "wonderful" and "exciting" offers have slipped through my fingers. I have just submitted my resume for another editor position available within another branch of my company, so I here I sit waiting for another interview opportunity and yet another - don't say it! - disappointing outcome?

Number two, the night of my birthday party I handed over all responsibility of the tab to my friends and boyfriend. Yesterday, I discovered a handsome sum charged to my credit card from Suede that definitely should not be there as we handed the waitress a large wad of cash to cover the bill. It will be dealt with and everything will be straightened out but it's the hassle of it all that really chaps my hide.

Number three, I'm bummed because my new boyfriend, who I desperately and pathetically want to spend every waking moment with and am surprisingly able to hide these clingy impulses from, is going to Mexico for the weekend with "the boys," including brothers and father. It really is no place for little ol' me with all their four-wheeling and jet-skiing and belching and whatnot. But does that stop me from having the desire to throw myself at his feet and beg him to take me along so that if a beautiful and half-naked seniorita (or spring-breaker) happens to walk by I can be right there to shield his eyes and shake my bikini-clad ass in his face to distract from the temptation to ogle? NO. Like a good and sweet girlfriend, I will smile sweetly when he says good-bye, wish him an outrageously fun time, and give him the best sex of his life the night before he leaves.

Number four, I have used phrases such as "bustin' my chops," "chaps my hide," and "bummed," all within this post.

Now that's something to really ruffle my feathers.